Friday, August 7, 2009

Schizophrenic Aggarwal~The Murderer~The Contractor


After coming from Sikkim, I came to Hamirpur and found [he is a treaure worth founding, not meeting] Aggarwal~The Contractor~The Murderer. Today I will let you know about this amazing creature of GOD, although I don't think GOD exists, but if he does, he would be pleased to take the credit of creating this amazing human~being. He drinks all day, all night, he drinks effortlessly, he drinks by borrowing money from the "under 14” kids working in the "dhaba" where I used to dine. Once he is drunk, he is on the top of the world, he is a king, although every second drunkard is a king, but he is great.


I have seen a wide variety of drunkards in my Life. My dad, he was a commission agent for me and my twin brother. Every time we will screen his bottle from mom, we were rewarded 2 INR each, in 95-96. Then comes Karma, he rocks; he will drink a glass full of wine/whiskey/daaru, without mixing anything into it [no soda, no water and no nothing] in a single go and then will ask for the second glass and so on. He always preferred a full bottle for himself and it was a ritual to finish that bottle on the same day. Last but not the least comes Nair, a colleague in Satyam, he used to drink directly from the bottle, just the way I and you drink Amul Kool from bottle.He was the undisputed champion but Aggarwal outranked him.


Aggarwal is utterly different. He is a complete human being, he visualizes his dreams and he keeps converting dreams into reality. Although, personally I feel that every human being is a schizophrenic, but he is a master of this art. Last Saturday, he told me that he gave his sisters 2500 each as a “rakhi” present. Five minutes later, he was telling the same story to another guy and the amount was 5k each, very next day, he caught me and this time story was same and amount was 10k each, you see multiplicative growth. Even Bill Gates, Warren Buffet are not able to grow at such a rate. Noticeable thing here is that the number of girls was fixed (2), however the amount kept on growing at an exponential rate.


Yesterday only, he was seeking my advice on how and where to buy land in Himachal. I also wanted some entertainment, so I deliberately said, “What is your budget?” He replied,” Arey, money is not a problem; I can invest up to 10 crores. I just want enough land to open a hotel and a bar and a college” That day he borrowed money from under-14 working kids of the dhaba . :)

Usually he drinks one full bottle of “desi~daaru”, and when he is happy or sad, the count sometimes go to 2-3. One fine day he was drunk badly and was crying in the rain, cursing all the people in the world. All of a sudden he got up and boarded the next bus to Delhi, as he [possibly] hails from Delhi. Now it takes 10-11 hours by bus to reach Delhi by road and same to come back. So the sum is 22 hours, provided you don’t do anything and just come back from the bus station. He boarded the bus, and within a span of 18 hours he was back. Surprisingly, he came back on a scooter from Delhi, totally drunk. That day onwards, he has earned respect of a lot of people, although I don’t believe that he went to Delhi, but the scooter with a Delhi number plate is a testimony of that. This was indeed an inhuman task.


He says that he has murdered a lot of people in Delhi and he is not allowed to stay there. He says he is working as a contractor here in N.I.T Hamirpur, however in reality he is a “munshi”,accountant type.


He says that he will give me the job as I am jobless. He thinks he is the best manager in the world... And believe me nothing can stop him from dreaming, not even his deteriorating health condition, his poverty. He never gives a fuck. Whatever he dreams, he just realizes it by telling it to the people he meets, moreover he is not a “sharabi dreamer” because he keeps a scope of expansion always, as he did by increasing the amount of “rakhi-present”. He knows his goal in life and if he continues this way, in near future he will definitely achieve the goal.


Conclusion: Aggarwal is great and he reminds me of Calvin, actually Calvin had his mom to stop him, but this fellow is just unstoppable. Rock on man, you are the king.


P.S: I have never tasted daaru in my life but The Company of Drunkards makes me feel like them, at times, so I pretty much understand their condition and feelings.

16 comments:

Uncommon Sense said...

what an interesting character,, watching tight people is my biggest timepass... and if u ungli them then u can make them do funny things..

Chhaya said...

he he... Aggarwal ji sounds very interesting. and like Maya, i also enjoy watching the tunnn peope (as long as they keep their eyes n hands off me)..

about Calvin, he is just the bestest!!! if i ever have a kid, i want him to be like Calvin, the crazy hair and super imagination and all... yes, i m ready to be a haggared mom (like Calvin's) to have such a bright kid :D

Tarun Goel said...

hahha, so u think calvin is bright :D

Chhaya said...

u dont? i mean, dont u think Calvin is bright? he is so much more intelligent than his age suggest. i have the full collection of Calvin and Hobbs. and after having read the whole thing, i really find Calvin very bright. tell me which other kid of his age knows the word - "proton" or the "poll ratings"!!!

As Calvin says - "Kiss you protons goodbye, booger being"!!

Uncommon Sense said...

i agree with chhaya, he is so smart that half of things that he says i never understand...

Tarun Goel said...

He is not bright at all. He is just beyond the knowledge and scope of mortals. He talks to a tiger who is not a tiger. He is not living on the same planes as we do, he is beyond the barrier of wisdom. :)

Chhaya said...

if Calvin in "unbright" cz he talks to a stuffed toy then man.. i so dont wanna know what you think about me!!! i talk to so many "un-living" things :D ... the favorite is the coffee mug!

btw.. i am unable to comment @ ur "tamborine man" post.. just so u know, Dylan is among my fav!

PS: got something @ my blog.

Kanupriya said...

LOL, he sounds damn interesting. BTW y there is no link to drop comment on ur latest post :) ?

upasana said...

Aggarwal hahaha!! this guy is amazing :D

udtahaathi said...

That's why it is said for Aggarwals- " Aggar Wall nahin hota to ceiling gir jaata"...lol
But i am amazed that you don't drink but you understand a drunkards feeling?
We need more people like you :)

Cheers!

Tarun Goel said...

@chaya & kanupriya-I have not given "comments" option there
Upasna-welcome back, after a long long time :)

@udtahaathi - yes we need a lot of people like m and i don't drink actually :)

Chhaya said...

@Tarun - u ate one "h" from my name

Tarun Goel said...

Sorry, not intentional
Usually i spell and say the names the way they should be
Nice observation, though :)

Chhaya said...

@Tarun - actually i m very sensitive abt the spelling of my name... have spent countless years shouting - "its double H" during form subimisson"

:(

may be i will write something about it ...

Narayana Swamy K said...

u have not tasted daru??!! that comes as a shock to me :) very interesting character.. definitely a calvin in the making! life is full of strange characters and specimen!

Tarun Goel said...

@narayan-yes dear, I have not!!
As of now I am impure because i haven't touched the pious water :)