Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Energy Conservation, Imran Khan and Me

As I have already said in my previous post, working in/with Kollace is turning out to be a wonderful experience. Now something very strange/unreal happened to me. It was almost instigation, not an incidence actually. In Kollace-Sikkim, we wanted some new people to take charge of Oxygen and PDP, so we got one fellow named Mr. Imran Khan (although the way he was behaving does not entitles him to be a Mister). He is 33 years old. He had served as a Principal in some schools in North-Sikkim, which is comparatively a remote part of the state. He is personally known to Rahul Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi and he was known to Shahrukh Khan personally. [I know Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, personally: D] Now, the conversation which took place between me and him is as typed below:

FIRST DAY---Thursday

Me: Hi, I was busy with the sessions, sorry to keep you waiting.
IK: No problem. I enjoyed your session. Actually I learnt a lot of things.
Me: Thanks.
IK: Is your blood group O+?
Me: No????!!!!!!!
IK: Actually, I have studied psychology so I can tell the blood group by just looking at the faces.
Me: That's impressive. (I said to myself,” Do I look like an asshole or am I that dumb???")
IK: Let me check your nerve. [He held my hand for a while, for a moment I thought he was a GAY :)] Is your blood group B+?
Me: No, It is A+. So, I guess Bhupen has told you about the organization and your role?
IK: Yes, he has. But let me ask you one question, how old are you?
Me: 23
IK: Oho! So are you married?
Me: I guess my appearance (2.5 month long beard) is confusing you. Let me help you. [I told him about myself.] Later on, I told him what was expected from him and how was he supposed to work. I told him that new ideas are what we looking for; we are not following the orthodox ways and trends, so please try to come up with new things.
IK: I am always creative. We will meet tomorrow and discuss something very new.

Bhupen is the person taking care of things in Kollace-Sikkim.

Me to Bhupen: Where do you find this kind of people? He wasted a lot of my energy. Then we both laughed our hearts out and waited for his brilliant ideas.

Second Day:

Me: Hey Mr. Khan. How are you doing?
Ik: I am fine, sir.
Me: Let’s not say Sir/Madam. Let us use first name, that way we will be able to communicate properly.
IK: Yes, that is absolutely right. I will do whatever you say. I have considered you as "guru"(master).
Me: I don't want to be your master or whatsoever it is. Let us come to the point. What are the ideas you have?
IK: We should start IELTS coaching. I know a lot of people here in Sikkim who are willing to learn English and we can have a good laugh if we jump into it at the right time.
ME (thinking): Now I am going to give him the real stuff. This motherfucker is wasting my time giving me IELTS and all that crap.
Me: OK, go ahead and make sure you talk in terms of morals, conclusions, numbers and percentages. No loose talk here. Let’s talk straight and clear.
IK: I know a lot of people in Sikkim, actually I know a lot of people in INDIA, and so I will talk to them.
Me: IK, we should focus on Sikkim as of now. When time comes we will move to other parts of India as well. Please talk in terms of numbers, that will give us a clear picture.
IK: Ok, I know a lot of people in Sikkim who want to learn English so we can talk to them.
Me: Who will talk?
IK: I will talk.
Me (I went to the white-board): So here it goes. You will go and talk to people here in Sikkim. BY Monday-Tuesday, you will come up with something concrete on the said day and then we will talk.
IK: I know a lot of people here in Sikkim and I can talk to them.
Me: IK, I am not able to understand how you are relating IELTS and Kollace. DO you have even a little bit of idea of what are you talking about?
IK: Yes, I do have the idea. I am 33 years old and I am not a "chutiya". I have lost all my hair and I think I know the things I say.
Me: Let’s maintain the decorum and make sure that we behave in a professional way. I give you 30 minutes, you present your idea because I am finding it good enough to float (I hated it from the bottom of my heart +soul + body), so after 30 minutes I will come and see what you have to say.

After sulking for 15 minutes he said," Let us abolish this idea. It has no significance in Sikkim."
Me: We at Kollace never give up and as you are a part of it now, I want you to present it on Monday, so make sure you are prepared well.

IK: OK, although I know a lot of people in India................ @#@##$@$$%@$%@$##
Me: Mr. IK, Let me make one thing clear. I firmly believe in the Law of Conservation of Energy and as of I feel that you have eaten up a large extent of my energy, so you come back on Monday and then we will talk.

Then he left for the day and I was relieved.

After 15 minutes, he came back again and I was so disturbed to see him that I wanted to kick him in the face but I am weak in this area where I have to tell people that they are eating my head, so I had to bear him again and insha~allah, for the last time :)

IK: I wanted to ask you one question if that is not too much to ask for.
ME: Go ahead..........
IK: What is the difference between "nature" and "character”?
Me: I don't know and I would not like to know if it has no relevance with the current situation/condition or whatever? So make sure you don't end up wasting my energy again.

The very moment, Bhupen who was also standing there and who is a native of Sikkim i.e. Local Person, went inside. IK saw him leaving and then his tone changed mysteriously. He started me……..

Ik: I am not from this place, although I have lived here for so many years but still I am an outsider. You have been here only for very few days, so you should be cautious while dealing with local people. They will make you work very hard and by the end of the day they will kick you in the face. I am a Pathan and you are a Hindu so we should not trust these people. And always remember that, "hamari aur inki kaum alag hai."(Ours and theirs race/creed/breed is different.) I felt like playing the role of a victim in a Hindi Movie.

I felt pity for him and me as well because of my inability to kill him right there. Before this, the incidence was an incidence but when he added religion/region to this, it was shameful, it was a pain in the ass/mind and body and it was inhuman. I wonder, if ever, he was a principal in a school of even 5 students, what was he teaching them?

I asked some questions to me after all this happened:
Why such people are allowed to live?
Even if they live, how do they manage to live till 33 years?
Why don't they understand that this kind of acts might defame the whole race.
If I would have behaved like him, we might have killed Bhupen :) just because he did not belong to my race [I don' know what is my race, although.]

Moral of The Story: There is nothing like race or creed and even if it is there let it not suppress the basic cause of Life, which is Love.

Life is Beautiful, njoy :)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Its not just Life but India,as well, is Beautiful :)

Here I am with the latest after elections :)I was not working with any party although, but to your surprise and mine as well, I am in Sikkim, having amazing time, working with KOLLACE. I thought of visiting Rajasthan, Gujarat but unexpectedly I am in Sikkim, so you never know what this beautiful Life has in store for you :)

This post is totally dedicated and sponsored(by me) for praising Sikkim, its beauty, its freshness, its law and order and a lot more things. But as we know, No Pains-No Gains, so before reaching Sikkim, I had the most horrible experience of my life and that was me going to Sikkim in a bloody, creepy sleeper class via U.P, Bihar[although it was the devil inside me that prompted me to have have this experience, the adventurous me] of Indian Railways :( All the stories that people used to tell, came true. In a single train, at least 10-12 thousand people were traveling, no exaggeration here.

As soon as the train started, I saw 10-20 TTE's entering the train and "making/selling" tickets as if they were selling tea/coffee/samosa. So many people had their tickets made on the spot, and the train was no less than a running hell. And to make things more beautiful, people just don't buy tickets, they just don't buy tickets at all Dammit, as if the ticket is their fraternal/maternal property. Aligarh, Allahbad, Kanpur,Buxar, Patna and after that my will power gave up and I was like a dead meet. On the lower berth 14 people were sitting at a single instance of time[2 Lower Berths] and when we reached Patna, I lost count of them. All of this reminded me of distorted version of Autology. But what came after made me forgot all the pains I had to take while reaching Sikkim.

Sikkim is a small state situated in the North-East part of India. Here in a car meant for four people only 4 people sit. Here while driving people wear helmets for their own security, not because a cop might fine them. Here people don't follow any law and order because there is no law and order. All we have here is Harmony, Understanding and Patience. The roads look like the perfect example of a "road",that even without traffic lights. The number of taxi-cabs operating here is almost equal to the number of people, "thoda sa" exaggerated, but believe me the cheap luxury you get in Sikkim will drive you crazy. Nobody passes strange looks if a girl and a boy are walking together, if they are holding their hands, if they are enjoying their Life. Everyone has got his own business to do, and Hail The Blessed Lord, ladies do sell the liquor over here, and nobody minds. It was very hard for me to digest that I am in India and not in some alienated place. Very soon I will be coming up with few more updates :)

Moral of the story:

Don't travel via "sleeper class", if your train is travelling through Bihar, U.P, Jharkhand, even if touches the remotest of the villages, don't take chance, get at least a 3-AC.

Sikkim is a very beautiful place and is an integral part of India.

Minor change: Its not just Life but India, as well, is Beautiful :)