Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Energy Conservation, Imran Khan and Me

As I have already said in my previous post, working in/with Kollace is turning out to be a wonderful experience. Now something very strange/unreal happened to me. It was almost instigation, not an incidence actually. In Kollace-Sikkim, we wanted some new people to take charge of Oxygen and PDP, so we got one fellow named Mr. Imran Khan (although the way he was behaving does not entitles him to be a Mister). He is 33 years old. He had served as a Principal in some schools in North-Sikkim, which is comparatively a remote part of the state. He is personally known to Rahul Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi and he was known to Shahrukh Khan personally. [I know Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, personally: D] Now, the conversation which took place between me and him is as typed below:

FIRST DAY---Thursday

Me: Hi, I was busy with the sessions, sorry to keep you waiting.
IK: No problem. I enjoyed your session. Actually I learnt a lot of things.
Me: Thanks.
IK: Is your blood group O+?
Me: No????!!!!!!!
IK: Actually, I have studied psychology so I can tell the blood group by just looking at the faces.
Me: That's impressive. (I said to myself,” Do I look like an asshole or am I that dumb???")
IK: Let me check your nerve. [He held my hand for a while, for a moment I thought he was a GAY :)] Is your blood group B+?
Me: No, It is A+. So, I guess Bhupen has told you about the organization and your role?
IK: Yes, he has. But let me ask you one question, how old are you?
Me: 23
IK: Oho! So are you married?
Me: I guess my appearance (2.5 month long beard) is confusing you. Let me help you. [I told him about myself.] Later on, I told him what was expected from him and how was he supposed to work. I told him that new ideas are what we looking for; we are not following the orthodox ways and trends, so please try to come up with new things.
IK: I am always creative. We will meet tomorrow and discuss something very new.

Bhupen is the person taking care of things in Kollace-Sikkim.

Me to Bhupen: Where do you find this kind of people? He wasted a lot of my energy. Then we both laughed our hearts out and waited for his brilliant ideas.

Second Day:

Me: Hey Mr. Khan. How are you doing?
Ik: I am fine, sir.
Me: Let’s not say Sir/Madam. Let us use first name, that way we will be able to communicate properly.
IK: Yes, that is absolutely right. I will do whatever you say. I have considered you as "guru"(master).
Me: I don't want to be your master or whatsoever it is. Let us come to the point. What are the ideas you have?
IK: We should start IELTS coaching. I know a lot of people here in Sikkim who are willing to learn English and we can have a good laugh if we jump into it at the right time.
ME (thinking): Now I am going to give him the real stuff. This motherfucker is wasting my time giving me IELTS and all that crap.
Me: OK, go ahead and make sure you talk in terms of morals, conclusions, numbers and percentages. No loose talk here. Let’s talk straight and clear.
IK: I know a lot of people in Sikkim, actually I know a lot of people in INDIA, and so I will talk to them.
Me: IK, we should focus on Sikkim as of now. When time comes we will move to other parts of India as well. Please talk in terms of numbers, that will give us a clear picture.
IK: Ok, I know a lot of people in Sikkim who want to learn English so we can talk to them.
Me: Who will talk?
IK: I will talk.
Me (I went to the white-board): So here it goes. You will go and talk to people here in Sikkim. BY Monday-Tuesday, you will come up with something concrete on the said day and then we will talk.
IK: I know a lot of people here in Sikkim and I can talk to them.
Me: IK, I am not able to understand how you are relating IELTS and Kollace. DO you have even a little bit of idea of what are you talking about?
IK: Yes, I do have the idea. I am 33 years old and I am not a "chutiya". I have lost all my hair and I think I know the things I say.
Me: Let’s maintain the decorum and make sure that we behave in a professional way. I give you 30 minutes, you present your idea because I am finding it good enough to float (I hated it from the bottom of my heart +soul + body), so after 30 minutes I will come and see what you have to say.
IK: OK

After sulking for 15 minutes he said," Let us abolish this idea. It has no significance in Sikkim."
Me: We at Kollace never give up and as you are a part of it now, I want you to present it on Monday, so make sure you are prepared well.

IK: OK, although I know a lot of people in India................ @#@##$@$$%@$%@$##
Me: Mr. IK, Let me make one thing clear. I firmly believe in the Law of Conservation of Energy and as of I feel that you have eaten up a large extent of my energy, so you come back on Monday and then we will talk.

Then he left for the day and I was relieved.

After 15 minutes, he came back again and I was so disturbed to see him that I wanted to kick him in the face but I am weak in this area where I have to tell people that they are eating my head, so I had to bear him again and insha~allah, for the last time :)

IK: I wanted to ask you one question if that is not too much to ask for.
ME: Go ahead..........
IK: What is the difference between "nature" and "character”?
Me: I don't know and I would not like to know if it has no relevance with the current situation/condition or whatever? So make sure you don't end up wasting my energy again.

The very moment, Bhupen who was also standing there and who is a native of Sikkim i.e. Local Person, went inside. IK saw him leaving and then his tone changed mysteriously. He started whispering....to me……..

Ik: I am not from this place, although I have lived here for so many years but still I am an outsider. You have been here only for very few days, so you should be cautious while dealing with local people. They will make you work very hard and by the end of the day they will kick you in the face. I am a Pathan and you are a Hindu so we should not trust these people. And always remember that, "hamari aur inki kaum alag hai."(Ours and theirs race/creed/breed is different.) I felt like playing the role of a victim in a Hindi Movie.

I felt pity for him and me as well because of my inability to kill him right there. Before this, the incidence was an incidence but when he added religion/region to this, it was shameful, it was a pain in the ass/mind and body and it was inhuman. I wonder, if ever, he was a principal in a school of even 5 students, what was he teaching them?

I asked some questions to me after all this happened:
Why such people are allowed to live?
Even if they live, how do they manage to live till 33 years?
Why don't they understand that this kind of acts might defame the whole race.
If I would have behaved like him, we might have killed Bhupen :) just because he did not belong to my race [I don' know what is my race, although.]

Moral of The Story: There is nothing like race or creed and even if it is there let it not suppress the basic cause of Life, which is Love.

Life is Beautiful, njoy :)

6 comments:

Ankesh at Talk said...

hmmm.. dere no dearth of Idiots around... chalo dese lovely experience of life keep njoyin...

Narayana Swamy K said...

One specimen!! Such people must be made to ride a Gadha with their heads shaved!

Nishit said...

hmm so you are having a good time in sikkim...well you will come across such people very often...killing them is not the only solution...you should have made him understand his mistake...well enjoy as you never know how many surprises are there for you

Kanupriya said...

LOL, some character was this Mr. IK. But u know there r many ppl in corporate world who survive just becoz they brag abt knowing some X,Y,Z...ppl and kaam ki baat karo toh they know NOTHING!

abhishek gupta said...

are yaar..in sab logo ko kisi musium ya kisi exibition me saza ke rakhna chahiye...taki sabko pata lage ki aise log abhi bhi hai india me...
India may be developing contoury only as stil we hav such people...

a world of undefeatable comparison said...

this is a classic \m/