Thursday, February 5, 2009

Autology

Scene-Auto rickshaw stand which is by no means legal and not meant for the same. It can be defined as a large number of crippled autos standing in the middle of the road with their drivers having a strange face and shouting all the time at the top of their voices, even if they are talking to each other.
Its 9 in the morning and a lot of guys/girls wearing blue-black business formals are striding towards the auto stand.
All the auto drivers are standing in a group and are commanding people to sit in their autos.They are lined up and move only according to their number but still there is a lot of chaos and some intelligent people manage to rush away out of turn.
As soon as you reach there they come into action. They will just encircle you and will ask or rather command you to sit in their respective autos. They will force you to sit in an auto where 14 people are sitting already and when you question them about the scope of your ass they will tell you that still there is room for two more people. They can accommodate 14-16 people in an auto and sometimes its difficult to tell which one is actually driving. I have observed that they succeed in their ventures every time, what they do is they create a barrier around you, by crowding around you, which will not let you move. They will freeze your nerves by shouting and crying in their hoarse voices which will give you no room for your grey matter to move. They unknowingly or knowingly follow a strategy. You ask them about the place you would like to go, they will reply in Hindi after that you ask them about fare, distance, seats or anything else they will shut their mouth and in case they are in a mood to talk they will start blabbering in local language which even your forefathers can't understand. Once you are seated then they will start playing and humming Hindi songs, will pass comments on the good looking girls in Hindi, wink at you to gain support from you (which most of the guys have given so far, bloody creeps).
You will be sitting in one auto where enough space is there for you, then another auto waala will come and he will shout in front of you, staring into your eyes(as if you have raped someone and he is about to pass the verdict) and this whole business not give you enough time and space to think and you will start following his orders like a puppet and this way he will be able to maintain the record breaking figure of 16 people in a single auto.I have seen people sitting calmly in a khaali auto and them being taken away by an auto-wala who is already having 15 peices with him and still is not satisfied.The magic is spellbound, you have no choice, you have to go. Its amazing to see the way they capture people. This is the psychology of survival,autology. Auto drivers want as many people as possible [read impossible] in their autos and professionals want to reach as soon as possible inside their A.C cabins, irrespective of the fact that the number of autos operating is very large.
So all guys who are having the privilege of traveling by sharing-auto and the future prospects of the shining auto industry[freshers from Engineering Colleges, who are to join especially in Pune,Hyderabad] please see to it that you don't let their autology overpower you, let them shout, scream and use local language but you keep yourself on the top priority and ensure that you find a suitable place for yourself in the auto.This is happening in every field of Life, we are acting impulsively, we are not having time enough to think, to act and to react.Time is needed, for ourselves and for Life.
So,whenever someone shouts at you in local language just say,"Sorry Shaktiman!" and it will bring smile to your and his face as well [I tried this once :)]

16 comments:

honey said...

autology, psychology of auto waala... haha :) :) too gud yaar!!
publish some theories and a book on it as well :)

Tarun Goel said...

Okay, but for that I have to travel in almost all the autos across the country :D

Ankesh at Talk said...

great auto walas of hyderabad , dont know about the pune...,they are the true businessmen of current time, they practice the theory of cost optimization and profitability better than any firm...kudos all of them and hope some day poor professional like us will get relief from this "autology"....

Mr controversial said...

hey
why autology ?
it's better to have a bike and then just vrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm as long as u can

Nishit said...

yess hv seen autowaalas quite often overloading people when it has the capacity of 10 people. I hv just survived one recent incident when i literally faced death...it's risky and Mr. Controversial Bike is more risky than auto...so it's better u take satyam bus or go by public bus...thank GOD i wasn't hurt

1conoclast said...

:-D

This can't be a Pune story. I've never seen anything like it in Pune!

krystyna said...

Autology...now I know what it is. Good name.
You are very good writer, Tarun.
Reading your post I feel like I was there. Your writing is like a painting.
Have a great weekend!

Dawn....सेहर said...

Amazing!!! you gave an awesome perspective of your autowala story :)
I loved it - made me smile :)
Cheers & Thanks!

Tarun Goel said...

:D

Tarun Goel said...

@Conco-Come to Hinjewadi boss, you will get to know what is life :(

1conoclast said...

Tarun,

You're MOST welcome! :-)

Two things:
1. I worked out of Hinjewadi for 16 months.
2. Hinjewadi isn't really Pune, is it? ;-D

Tarun Goel said...

Now when I'll be coming from an other part of India, what will I say I am going-Pune or hinjewadi :D
Whatever it is, no hard felings :)
Post was just to tell about the "Autology" and I guess job is done.
Life is Beautiful :)

Dawn....सेहर said...

When is the next postology buddy? :)
Have fun!

sam said...

gud one!!!! on ur writology don't stop :)

verbivorehere said...

is the venue - Pune? yeah ive faced similar situation thr! and u just dnt seem to leave shaktiman alone..do u ;P

Smita said...

:))

I too can write an autology...these people are a breed in themselves :))

Last week hi me n my fren came out of a mall and these buggers started vying for our attention. As soon as I told them my destincation they all went invisible :D