Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Great Indian Litterbug

Aswachh Bharat Mision is our National Motto. That's what appears to be the hidden agenda of our Indian brothers and sisters. 

No, you don't have to confuse it with 'Swach Bharat Mission' initiated by the Prime Minister of India. He is new to the system, he will fall in line sooner or later.

Image: GreatIndian by TOI
But we, the sons and daughters of Mother India know our game pretty well. Those white skinned firangis ruled us for hundreds of years but even they couldn't deter our spirit of keeping our surroundings dirty and messy.

We like our streets dirty, our hospitals even dirtier.
We like our offices messy, our rivers multicolored, mostly black.
But we like our malls clean, cars even cleaner.
Also, we like our teeth shining, mobiles dust free. 
Although, this reads like a randomly written statement but it surely qualifies to be a National Song because that's what our reality is.

These days we hear about people asking for Bharat Ratna, Padma Bhushan, Padma Vibhushan, and all other sort of awards. About time, we start awarding people of our great nation for what they do the best, littering every nook and corner of India.

So, I recommend  the Great Indian Litterbug Award to my dear brethren. Here's how you qualify:

1. You must keep your house, your car, and you mobile screen clean but not your streets.
2. You must throw your garbage outside the garbage bin placed in your residential area. You may as well start training your kids by asking them to shoot directly from your balcony so as to have multiple potential Indian Litterbugs Awardees in your family.
3. Spitting, which will be announced our National Sport within a decade, must be practiced religiously. You may as well organize spitting competitions, but only at Public Places. The crowded the place, better the chance of producing a future litterbug.
4.  Never listen to anyone who tries to put sense into you or your kid. Always confront whenever someone lectures you about keeping our streets clean. You may as well start throwing garbage out of your car on a busy street, and then pick fights with random strangers who don't do the same. This not only makes you popular but also adds to your Litterbug Quotient.

These five points are not just rules but they must be observed as commandments. Scientific studies suggest that Indians anyway follow all these rules, just that they need to work a little harder to be precise and consistent.

And when all these rules will be inculcated in our mind, body, and soul; nobody can stop us from achieving the greatness that once was ours.

The Great Indian will emerge victorious.
That's how our India will shine.
All hail the Great Indian Litterbug!